This Light Shines Brighter When It’s Home.

Movement – bliss

pain and resistance

why why why am I here?

Taking my heart and placing it back in my breast

This light shines brighter when it’s  home.

The sun never moves to bring us light.

Mist in the mornings, frost on the leaves

Heat and burning anger in the pit of this being

Dancing with head and feet

Dancing with Ground Hog’s day, over and over again and again –

All my perfectionism just an endless tape on repeat;

these words do hurt, wring pain like juice from muscadine,

Dripping, reeking –

so Southern

So here

Such a m***f*** rear view mirror

I saw a deer startled, bleeding

Dying in a clearing, white bone exposed, shocking, shaking, falling,

No tears

eyes so wide they swallowed me whole.

And all I could so is come back here. And place all this immense little perfectionism

Into the fire of my soul

And let these flames cook, burn and refine the ideals from which it was birthed

So long ago.

And let these

refined idols

be mere guides.

Life and breath, just for today

I know I know i know

It’s been 10000 years.

Today can be different

Today I can speak a single new word

Today I can let in a little light

It’s here after all, all around

Forget about the dying deer

It’s journey is not yours

It’s blood is its own release

Forget all the past, which never could  be forgotten anyway

Today I go

This way.

– by Julian Royce

– all rights reserved